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Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Last Updated: 24.06.2025 03:01

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Can you explain the difference between a shower cap and a hair bonnet?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why do all the stupid people think Donald J. Trump is stupid?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When was the last time you had sex with someone much older than yourself?

I can read

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why do I feel bad when I see white girls dating black guys, am I racist?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t cotton to rapists

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

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I can count

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

At least 45 Palestinians killed while waiting for aid trucks in Gaza, health officials say - AP News

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I see through liars

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?